should you choose to sleep late

should you choose to sleep late and you have dogs, this could happen to you...

this is all that remains of the thirty dollars that was in my pocket yesterday. i'm not sure how the dogs managed to pick my pocket, perhaps it fell out of my pocket while i was sitting on the couch last night, but there it is - my thirty dollars.

i suppose i could follow them around with a plastic baggy for the rest of the day to wait for the rest of it, but that would be kind of gross. maybe i'll have to just accept my losses and learn from this - never trust a dog with your money.

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perhaps an actual place to live?

tonight i'm going to go see a townhouse that will hopefully be the place i end up moving to. it's a big three bedroom place with a garage (or should i be calling that a car-hole?) and a back yard. it will be nice not having to take an elevator down 23 stories with a bunch of arse wipes just to take the dogs out for a pee.

and did i mention the arse wipes on the elevators? yesterday my adventure in walking the dogs resulted in one woman freaking out so much when she saw them that she wouldn't get onto the elevator. no big deal for me, but really - who's scared of a 5 lb chihuahua and a 9 lb dachshund (yes, i now also have a wiener dog).

today i need to try to be effective and productive at work, although i REALLY don't want to be. working is for suckers. the unfortunate thing is that i've still got another 15 years or so to go of being a sucker (and yes, i DO intend to retire by the age of 45).

1 dog, 1 cat, many chances to screw up the photos

it seems to me that it's nearly impossible to get pictures of the cat and the dog the way i want to have them. for example - taking a picture of the dog sitting pretty and this happens...


try to get a picture of the cat doing something cool - impossible. he's too much of a loaf...

the bottom

this is the bottom of the tree frog

the great cricket hunt

for the better part of the last week, much of my limited time at home spent not watching movies has been spent hunting down crickets. why might i be hunting down crickets? well the answer is simple:

Hippo the tree frog eats crickets. every day i put a dozen or so crickets in his terrarium for him to chow down on, and usually he's pretty good about finding and eating most of them. occasionally one or two escapes and manages to get under a piece of furniture, temporarily escaping a date with the tree frog's sticky tongue.

by my count this week, i've lost two crickets in the feeding process, meaning that theoretically there should have been only two crickets hopping around the house. one of them i know has been under the fridge chirping for three or four days straight. he was introduced to the bottom of my shoe last night (under normal circumstances, i'd just catch them and throw them back in with the frog - but this one was pissing me off).

somehow, i found three other crickets this morning. well, i shouldn't say that i found them - rather the cat found them. it's kind of funny watching a 20 lb cat bouncing around the living room after a cricket. the good thing is that he's smart enough not to eat them. he tends to just hold them under his overly fuzzy paws until he's ready to start bouncing again. thanks to his keen and non-lethal cricket catching skills, hippo had three more snacks added to his plate this morning.

not so helpful

the captain decided he'd help me work today...

something stinks and it's not me

i woke up this morning with a start. a single bark echoed through the apartment at a near ear-piercing volume, emanating from from a four pound dog sitting on my pillow.

promptly, i informed this dog that he should perhaps lower the tone of his voice. after all, it was five o'clock in the morning and the neighbours are trying to sleep.

"SHUT YOUR CAKE HOLE, DOG!" were the exact words to come from my mouth as i turned over and tried to focus my attention back on my primary goal. this was, of course, sleeping.

as i made my effort to drift out of consciousness again, i couldn't help but notice an odd fragrance. "what in the hell IS that smell?" i muttered to myself. try as i might, i couldn't shake whatever it was - the smell wasn't going away any time soon.

i turned on the light to reveal that there, lying on the pillow, was the dog's chew treat - one of those stinky-ass Greenies. good for the dog, but stinky as hell. for some reason senior popp-o-matic loves putting his chew toys in bed where they'll either end up getting stuck to my face or jab into my back. he's probably just trying to share so that i can experience the same joy he does when he's sitting there stinking up his mouth with one of those things so i have to remember that he's not trying to be bad - his english skills are just lacking.

truck LOVES ballet

you go to the box for two minutes and you feel shame

busy with the move

i hate moving, i hate packing. so look at a picture of the cat and the dog.



hope i haven't already posted this one.

the devil

he just doesn't stop moving

i'm pretty sure that the thing that goes through truck's (cat) mind most often is "why doesn't he stop moving? can't he sleep for a while? not very good at being a cat is he now?"

 

strong enough for a man, made for a woman

i just saw a commercial for Tide with Febreeze. it seems their new marketing campaign is directed solely at women (what aboot us guys that do laundry too eh?), but i think it's the point of the commercial that strikes me as most odd. essentially they're saying, in so many words, to stop smelling like a mother and start smelling like a woman. all of this being stated while a woman is holding what i would imagine is supposed to be her baby (it's probably been borrowed from someone else though).

is this to imply that mothers stink? do mom's of the world have a certain stink to them that mothers smell like baby shit and vommit or something?

or maybe their marketing campagin is telling us that perhaps this laundry detergent is only for women. personally, i don't really want to smell like a woman. i'm rather content with the fact that i smell like a man (if in fact i do smell - i probably do because i've been lazy so far this morning and haven't showered yet).

on a somewhat unrelated topic, i've started reading Douglas Adams' Life, The Universe, and Everything and have so far been as impressed with this book as the first two out of the five books in the trilogy of four. the odd thing about this series of books is trying to explain bits and pieces to someone who hasn't read any of the books without going into some ridiculous amount of detail or without being overly vague, though i think the next time when someone at work asks me what i'm doing, i'm going to tell them that i'm looking for an SEP.

and even more off topic, here's a list of the things i've had to take out of Poppy's mouth today:

• a rather massive roll of toilet paper (i buy the double-roll's yo)
• several receipts from several different stores at several different times during the day
• three of my socks
• a roll of scotch tape (i honestly have NO idea where he found this since i was convinced that we didn't have any to begin with)
• my backpack

Truck, on the other hand, is currently stoned on cat nip and has no intention of doing anything other than purring and drooling for the next couple of hours.