now taking applications

i've determined that i'm now at the point in my career where i need an executive assistant - you know, someone who will fetch me coffee, tea, juice, get my papers from the printer and all that types of stuff.

well, maybe not necessarily at the point in my career, but the point in my office.  i mean come on - the lunch room is all the way on the other side of the building - that's like 35 feet away.  and the printer?  don't even get me started.  that's on the other side of my cubicle wall - JUST OUT OF REACH.  and what about when the printer's out of paper?  i can't be expected to do that kind of labour in my condition*.

* -- mmat's severe medical condition is easily defined here.