welfare bum

Successfully missing the point since 1977.

Sunday, April 30, 2006

does the King of Spoons mean anything to you mofo?

i've found that i have a bad habit.

i mean a bad habit other than leaving my underwear on the floor all the time.

i've just noticed it this morning actually while rifling through the cutlery drawer. you see, i take milk in my coffee. and after i put the milk in my coffee i stir it with a spoon.

and promptly throw the spoon in the sink of dirty dishes (another bad habit - but i'll get more into that another day).

so looking through the cutlery for a clean spoon with which to stir my coffee yielded no positive results. the only thing it yielded was a kick in the ass to try to stop throwing my coffee spoon in the sink after a quick stir of a single cup of coffee when i know full well that it will be followed by at least one, if not two more.

and has anyone seen a picture of the guys in INXS lately? i was over at the pharmacy t'other day and noticed that the one guy has a moustache and goatee that looks like it was drawn on with a maker. and what's with those guys still playing? don't they get the point - the singer died. you have 1 chance to replace your singer and if that doesn't work you're supposed to call it quits. and getting dudes like Terrance Trent D'arby does NOT make you any cooler. if you need more examples just look at Van Halen. David Lee Roth leaves/gets kicked out - they replace with Sammy Hagar. Sammy gets canned, along comes Gary Cherone (who should come up in the google search for miserable failure). one horrible album later, they boot his ass out and go back to Sammy Hagar and release a couple of Greatest Hits albums - both of which show no trace of Cherone at all (thank fucking god). Van Halen made the mistake of a third lead singer but at least they got wise and tried to cover it up.

but you know who really needs to come back? Weird Al Yankovic. but not with the note-for-note parodies that he's become famous for, he needs to come back with the accordian-drenched polka spoofs that were so prominent only on his first album. i think that right now people's tolerance for parody music is pretty low - but man, that polka stuff would shoot it back to the top of the charts with a vengance.

and i know all of this because it is sunday and my cat is retarded.


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