welfare bum

Successfully missing the point since 1977.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

you've always got time


in Canada, the people this great nation are suffering from a horrendous disease.  an epidemic one might even say.  this dreadful illness has gripped a large portion of the population and continues to grow with unparallelled strength and vigor.
 
i'm talking aboot Tim Horton's.
 
it is a serious disease, one that doctors tend to overlook because even they THEMSELVES are victims to it's vile symptoms.
 
what symptoms?  well how about the devastating need for cheap coffee?  the fierce addiction to line your car up at an already packed drive-thru so that you can spend an extra ten minutes waiting for this cheap coffee rather than get your arse out of the car and spend two minutes in line inside the coffee shop?  how about the horrific disorder that causes you to line your cars up in the street for a chance to get into the parking lot/drive-thru of the coffee dispenser of hades - blocking the steady flow of commuter traffic that is, as of yet, unaffected by this disease?
 
i think that last symptom is one that inadvertently sucks more people into its clutches.  you get stuck in this line-up of cars without knowing the reason behind it and wait patiently as you inch forward in traffic.  you sit there, waiting.  you turn on 680 news and listen to find out the details of the accident, but Darryl Dahmer speaks only of traffic problems on the highway, a beer truck has rolled over and crushed a small car, and nothing about this in-town delay.  suddenly, you view the sign - the majestic Tim Horton's logo stares at you and speaks to you.  "You need a coffee and a donut to start your work day."
 
and another unsuspecting soul is sucked in.  an addiction has now been created, $1.40 has now been lost to the forces of evil.

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