welfare bum

Successfully missing the point since 1977.

Monday, February 19, 2007

it means you use 50% of your brain power

today i witnessed the true definition of insanity. not even the pope on one of his alcohol and coffee fueled binges could stir up the kind of insanity i witnessed today

it was the 50% off everything sale at Value Village.

to mark the occasion, all of the stores opened an hour early, including my local store. shortly before eight o'clock this morning, we arrived and noticed that a line up of old ladies and pregnant bargain hunters was already forming in the cold morning air.

when the doors opened, the old people flooded in like a bucket of soaking wet kleenex. people were grabbing carts two and three at a time. sheer madness.

i always head to the junk section first - you know, the section with all the old coffee mugs, useless appliances, board games and clocks that nobody could ever want in their house, but many will be happy to purchase for 50% off. the above clock was one of the featured items - a bargain at any price, i'm sure. i was tempted to get it in order to grace the top of my computer at work, or perhaps to ward off the evil spells of the underpants gnomes.

but alas, i left it. surrounded by old ladies, i knew that grabbing hold of such a treasure would be depriving some unsuspecting child of a humiliating birthday present, and likely would result in my losing a limb. you know how seniors get - they hide razor blades to cut you under their dentures.

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