Vandalism win

I saw this amazing painting while out walking around today.

Al, you made my day

who knew?

beer and s'mores DO go together.

baby, it's cold inside

sometime in the last couple of days, it got very cold in the toronto area. temperatures dropped from "reasonable and spring-like" to "early winter" in the space of about 2 days.

also in the last couple of days, my furnace, thermostat or both seem to have experienced an epic fail. despite me setting the damn thing at 27 degrees (80 fahrenheit), the actual temperature seems to be floating between 15 and 18 degrees (60 and 65 american degrees). although cool in the temperature sense, it's not at all cool in the awesome sense especially since i'm going to have to get the landlord to fix it. he suggested that it may not be calibrated, so i hope it's something simple.

why can't things just work properly all the time?

comin' to get you

sometimes i wish my iPhone had a glare-reduction feature on it...

the smurf army is coming to take your life.

also, anyone who's interested in knitting, i'm in the process of launching a new web site - ManSpun Yarn. it's for men who think that current selections of yarn are too girly, or for women who have come to their senses.

the shop isn't set up yet, but every yarn you see is available for purchase and is handspun by none other than myself using only the manliest of techniques. you can follow the blog in preparation of the launch of the store.

total brutal

after over five months of waiting, my job actually seems to have purpose now. for the last four or five consecutive business days i have been getting assignments left, right and center for some of the most boring and stupid reports anyone could possibly imagine.



don't believe me? imagine a corporation saying "I'd like to know how much we've spent on Ford transmission repairs over the last six and a half years" and being serious, and that being your job.



but on a lighter note, i've got tuxedo pictures. first though, me looking concerned with headphones sticking out of my ears:

and me with a clean shave and nice looking duds:

almost doesn't look like the same person eh?

in which i wear a tuxedo, shave two days in a row and make a very short speech

so yes, it is in fact true.  i wore a tuxedo this weekend.

 

and let that also mark the first time in my 31 years that i've ever worn a suit of any kind (other than birthday of course!).  all in all, the day went quite well.  sure things were hectic during the setup in the morning of, and it did kinda rain during the outdoor ceremony, but the rain wasn't that bad and the day was pretty fun.

 

so - t. , if you're reading this:  happy birthday and thanks for a great time this weekend.  d:  thanks for picking me as your best man, and sorry my toast was short.  i could think of all the right things to say, but i think the nervousness of speaking to 50 people at the same time got me and everything got jumbled.

 

and that brings me to monday.  at work.  the expression "sounds like someone's got a case of the mondays" really applies to this work place.  it's so bizarre just how many of your standard office stereotypes actually happen here.  maybe it's just that i'm not accustomed to working in such an environment - maybe this is the "normal" office world and everything else i've worked in up to this point has been the exception.

 

it's been a day of waiting so far.  most days are.  today i have 4 assignments that require responses from the account manager that requested them, and i've had one assignment sent to me that was literally only about several minutes of work.  most of what i've done so far this morning has involved me eating mini-wheats, drinking coffee and texting my sister.  maybe i'll hit the bike shop today, or maybe even the guitar store.  or both if i'm feeling really ambitious.

sky rockets in flight, afternoon delight!

i just bought this shirt:

because seriously - unicorns! humping! and it's called Afternoon Delight!

one week since you looked at me

the blisters have finally healed.  i kept trying to over-do it and ended up re-buggering them, but i'm finally used to my new shoes now.

 

oh, and i'm going to be going to the Stitch N' Pitch in Toronto tonight.  that's right, i'll be knitting (slowly) and watching baseball at the same time.  it's to be hoped that no sudden line drives get sent my way while i'm knitting, but it's been my experience that baseball moves slow enough that i should be able to manage both sports at the same time.

 

i've also noticed that despite my efforts to prevent it, i've still got a pretty good case of driver's tan going on.  i'm not sure how because my commute is now down to 1/10th of its original distance, but surely enough one arm is certainly darker than the other.  somehow i also managed to get sunburned on my neck this weekend, so for the next couple of days i will officially be a red neck.  yee haw.

3 more meals, easily

so, i made enough food so that i don't have to cook anything for the next 3 meals. and if i develop a taste for cold pasta then i don't even have to reheat it. yup. nothing like cold pasta with meat sauce.

currently there is lightning and rain outside. these are not terribly unusual things, but for some reason the chihuahua feels the need to run to the window every time it flashes and bark at it. maybe he thinks there's some crazy dude outside with a camera, and it's his flash. maybe he's protecting me from that.

of course, i'm not sure why anyone would want to take pictures of me right now. i haven't shaved in a couple of weeks, i'm not wearing any socks and i have a blister on my foot.

here's today's totals:

• Total Distance: 21.239 km
  
• Max Speed: 36.2 km/h
  
• Avg. Speed: 20.9
  
• Total Time: 1:00:59
  
• Calories Burned: 656.6
  
• Calories Burned from Fat: 76
  

a little bit less than yesterday, but it was raining today for a good portion of it, so that's my excuse.

parking fail

the other day i got to witness an epic parking fail:

best wrong-number call ever.

me: "hello!"
woman who called me: "hello?"
me: "who is this?"
woman: "is this Joe?"
me: "no, there's no joe at this number"
woman: "is Joe there?"
me: "no, there's no Joe - you've got a wrong number"
woman: "oh, is this a lawyer's office?"
me: "no, this is my cell phone"
woman: "is this a lawyer's cell phone?"
me: "no, this is a software developer's cell phone"
woman: "ugh. asshole"

then she hung up. how was i the asshole in that conversation?

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had it up to HERE with Bell Canada

so how long ago was it that i moved, like 5 months ago? i've been noticing for the last while that i haven't been getting any phone bills. that's typical for the first month or two after a move, but much longer than that and you know you've got a problem. luckily for me, i proactively pay the same amount every month just to make sure because this isn't the first time i've had problems with one of the Bell group of companies.

so i check online, log into their website and notice that even though they moved my service, they were still sending my bills to my old address.

"what the fuck?!?" i says to myself out loud, although hopefully not loud enough for the rest of the office to hear.

so i call them up, remind them that when they moved my service they should have bloody well moved my billing address and that i'm sick and tired of them screwing things up for me. i was also good enough to mention to them about how they messed up my internet service when i moved AND how they fucked me around with my cell phone service a couple of years ago.

with an angry customer on the line, one who has continuously been disappointed in the service but has remained loyal to the company - i would have thought they'd offer me some sort of discount or free option.

no

i get the upsell treatment: "Can I interest you in this package that offers two more calling services?"

"No," i replies, "i'm sure you can tell from the usage on my account that i very rarely even bother using my home phone. the only reason i have it is for reliable 911 service and i don't want you to screw THAT up too."

up yours Bell Canada. turn up the good, turn down the suck.

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just add water and watch it grow

six months and one week eh?


speaking of things that have been going on for months, have a looksie here:

this roll of lifesavers has been on my desk since i started. i even mentioned it before. it's definitely still there though in all of it's five-coloured glory. i suppose though that it makes sense that it's still there because i haven't thrown it out. i'm not quite sure why though - i don't have any intention of eating it. maybe i should add it to a time capsule or something like that. there aren't enough time capsules out there. seriously, weren't people from like 50 or 100 years ago obsessed with them? i think i should be finding these things all the time, uncovering the mysteries of 1958 with astonishing regularity. i think even the pope made a decree some time ago that some time ago. i'm pretty sure his statements had something to do with it being every human's duty to bury a time capsule at least once per year, and preferrably twice (once for a 50 year opening, once for a 100 year opening).

but then again, it's not like i've been burying time capsules all over the place, and i suppose i haven't been digging up my back yard looking for them either. those are probably things that should happen if i wanted to find one eh?

he can't talk because he's a pony

last night i went on a thrift shop adventure with Cindy from Studioloo when we came across a peculiar situation:



a half dozen fallen paper-maché ponies lying on the ground, twitching and cold. one pony stood out amongst the others. obviously it's strength was greater than his fallen brothers, so i would estimate that he was the pony commander.

paper-maché ponies are known to be fiercely territorial, especially when it comes to their fallen brethren. i cowered in the distance, camera phone in hand and watched as Cindy cautiously approached and tamed the ravenous beast. her courageous actions almost certainly saved the rest of us frightened thrift shoppers from a frightening and bloody massacre at the hand of the paper-maché pony.

you can never trust ponies.

i'm not on holiday now, but i should be

i should always have holidays. and fresh baked cookies.

well i have the cookies, but the holiday is over. the first batch of pictures can be found here. there's not a whole lot there yet, just the digital stuff i decided i liked - let me know what you think eh? i have two rolls of black and white film that i'm going to develop myself. yeah, i know. real actual film. in high school i did a project where i developed black and white film on my own, but that was many moons ago and i need to remember how to do it. i also need to buy the chemicals and stuff. a friend of mine at job #1 has offered to lend a hand where needed - he does that kind of stuff semi-professionally.

i discovered that i've got a half dozen or so rolls of colour film that have been used but not developed yet. unfortunately, i don't think i can develop colour film at home on my own. i've been told that it's very temperature sensitive and the chemicals are a real bastard to get right, so i'll have to bite the bullet and take them out to get processed.

the rhino was hungry

here's another one from the found roll

old film

i found and developed some old rolls of film...

burnination

in the last three days i've managed to burninate myself more times than a person should inside of a three day span.

first i burnt the roof of my mouth very badly on pizza. lesson learned: wait more than 30 seconds to eat pizza after taking it out of the oven. something sitting in an oven at 450 degrees for 22 minutes is likely to be hot.

next i managed to burn my middle finger. when you notice that stuff is clogging the drain in your dishwasher and it's only just finished it's heated drying cycle, it's best to wait until after it's all cooled down before you start clearing out the drain. that one made a neat sizzling noise.

bamboo wednesday! part 18! and trouble a-brewing!

i promise that one day i will return to posting things other than just pictures of my bamboo plant.



t'other day i came across this sign at an A & W:


now, i KNOW that it's just because that's the exit side of the drive through, but it seems kind of funny to me that how this particular place is laid out that if you intend to park your car in the parking lot, you'll pass this sign on your way into the restaurant.

and that's kind of a shame, because i loves me a tall frosty glass of root beer. mmmmm....

something not right this morning, eh?

this morning the dogs somehow managed to allow me to sleep until 8:15 am. this is a very strange thing. usually they're up and aboot somewhere around the six o'clock hour with the requirements of eating and pooping. from what i understand, most dogs like to eat and poop at about six in the morning, though usually not at the exact same time.

a quick search of the house proved that there were no "accidents" so i went on with the feeding of the dogs which was followed shortly thereafter by the pooping of the dogs.

i noticed while outside that there was nobody out there except for the really (really) old guy who delivers newspapers and flyers from door to door in my new neighbourhood.

with the puppies in their crate and the cat fed, i decided it was time to go to work. since i still haven't done a proper grocery shopping since we moved into the new place, i figured a quick bite to eat at tim horton's would be the right thing to do. i AM canadian, i'm pretty sure it's my duty to go there at least every once in a while.

the drive to the tim horton's was uninterrupted by stop lights. as a matter of fact i managed not to stop at all until i pulled into the drive-thru.

and there was only ONE other car in the drive through. at 8:45 am. on a saturday. wtf mate?

so this morning i somehow managed to feed and walk the dogs, feed the cat, clean myself and get dressed, go to a tim horton's drive through AND manage to get to work within an hour of my waking up.

well, i suppose i can put up with things being "not right" as long as these things work in my favour.