welfare bum

Successfully missing the point since 1977.

Monday, February 05, 2007

the morning during which mmat complains


the stretch of consecutive work days is drawing to an end. this weekend will consist of the first two days out of many that i will not be responsible for showing up to either of my jobs. this is a good thing.

i learned a valuable lesson in grocery shopping last night. never EVER trust that your grocery store will be proactive enough to verify that the expiry date on the products that you want to buy has not yet passed. last night's trip to the Dominion (where else can you go grocery shopping at 10:30 pm) resulted in a package of expired mini-donuts. expired by EIGHT DAYS. why didn't i notice this when i bought them? well, i s'pose i assumed that a grocery store would have enough common sense to periodically check the expiry dates of the products it sells, and remove the old and very stale donuts from its shelves.

once the pope bought a box of donuts at the grocery store that he thought was expired. the wrath and fury that followed was documented closely in the Hellraiser movie series. if there was one way to stay on the pope's good list, it would be to not mess with his coffee. if there were two ways to stay on the pope's good list, that second way would to serve only the freshest donuts. but in reality - the only person who could possibly be on the pope's good list is Chuck Norris.

after the pope's stale-donut fueled massacre, he noticed after the fact that he had actually picked up a bag of multi-grain bagels. he rejoiced and invented both christmas and the mandarin buffet on the same day.

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