one fine day at the grocery store

i decided that i'd go to the grocery store to buy some fruit. i've been on a kick of trying to eat healthier foods lately, so i generally hit the grocery store at some point mid-morning. as i'm generally just buying fruit to last me for the day, i tend not to bother putting it in the plastic bags the grocery store provides to you, preferring to avoid the excess plastic waste by just putting the fruits right in my grocery basket. an old lady sees me doing this today and says...

her: "oh, do you need a bag to put that in? here you go"
me: "no, i'm just buying one. i don't need it, thanks"
her: "don't put it right in the basket like that, it's full of germs"
me: "ma'am, this grows in dirt and is sprayed with pesticides and fertilizer. fertilizer is made of poop. i'm going to wash it before i eat it."

yeah.