welfare bum

Successfully missing the point since 1977.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

yesterday was.... interesting?

in theory, i should have posted this yesterday but my internet connection's been down more times than a thai hooker.

... waits for laughter ...

... still waiting ...

so yesterday i decided to go to work early. anyone in corporate north america knows that this is a big mistake - one should NEVER go to work early.

about 5 minutes into my bike ride as i'm riding down what would normally is a very quiet street, something hit me.

"what, the fact that it's dumb to go to work early?"

no, a gold toyota camry - it hit me while i was on my bike.

it threw me off balance but i managed to not hit the ground. at this point, i became filled with rage.

i dropped my bike to the ground, turn around and start shouting at the driver of the car. "what in the FUCK do you think you're doing? you fucking IDIOT!"

i see an elderly asian man sitting in the driver seat trying to motion to me that everything was okay and he'd just drive around me like he attempted to before, but managed to hit me and my bike instead.

so i slam my fist down on the hood of his car and shout "get the FUCK out of your god damned CAR you stupid piece of SHIT!"

three security guards from the mall i was passing happened to see the whole thing and one of them knocks on the window and persuades the man to get out of his car.

i lose it again.

"you fucking saw me in front of you, you stupid asshole! what the fuck do you think you're doing?!?! i've never seen a more stupid piece of shit in my fucking life, how fucking dare you hit me with your fucking car"

this went on for several minutes. me shouting, swearing and lecturing this guy while he attempted to apologize in his broken english. most of his attempts to speak were quickly stopped by me saying "shut your fucking mouth and fucking listen to me"

at one point he even tried to say it was an accident. it's not like he couldn't see me - he was trying to pass me and cut in front of me. well, he was either doing that or trying to kill me. i'm hoping that he was just trying to cut me off though.

at one point in my shouting, swearing lecture one of the security guards said to me "sir, i don't think you need to be speaking to him like that."


once i calmed down, i looked myself over - no scrapes, cuts or bruises. check my bike - the chain fell off, but that was about it - a minor little scrape on one of the seat stays.

i looked over at his car - large orange scrape on his gold camry was the only battle scar on his side.

i decided that because i wasn't injured and my bike wasn't injured, there was probably very little to no point in calling the police as it would likely result in a 20+ minute wait only to find that the guy wouldn't be charged because there was no injury or real damage.


here are my totals for the day eh:
  • Total Distance: 24.516 km
  • Max. Speed: 40.5 km/h
  • Avg. Speed: 22.1 km/h
  • Total Time: 1:06:37
  • Calories Burned: 806.0
  • Calories from Fat Burned: 95.4
i originally planned to do 30, but i saw the UPS truck that i knew i had missed earlier today. i ran over and talked to the driver - he still had my package.

huh-huh. i said package.

but, what he had for me was my new shoes:

pretty sweet eh? now when i go out for a run, i can do so without foot pain. New Balance 747 cross trainers. frickin awesome. i tried them out today. they kick some major ass.

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  • At Sat Jul 26, 05:28:00 PM, Anonymous Hanni said…

    UPS had your package?

    that's what she said!

    Sorry about the accident. Glad you and Agent Orange are a-ok.

  • At Sat Jul 26, 11:55:00 PM, Blogger ZoeyBella said…

    Thai hooker joke was funny. Made me laugh. Thanks. I'll probably use it during a pitch meeting next week. (Not too sure how I'll work it in though...)

  • At Sun Jul 27, 12:07:00 AM, Blogger Martini said…

    Wow, that's totally rotten to the max! I'm not sure I would've screamed at the driver like that, but I would've been just as mad. I guess they're used to knocking bicyclists down in their own country. Things are different here and he'd better learn that quickly!


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