welfare bum

Successfully missing the point since 1977.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

proposition 68

i'm going to try to get some new workplace legislation passed here in canada.  recently there were some new, more strict guidelines on where people can smoke in relation to your office building and the entrances so that non-smokers like myself don't have to put up with the stench and lung damage caused by people smoking in our faces.  I propose that immediately the following foods also be banned from the work place for the same reason:
  • anything with onions.  generally most food places use pretty tame onions, but every once in a while someone will come back to the office mid-afternoon with a sub from some grubby back-alley sub shop that is covered in some of the most rank, foul smelling onions that human kind has ever known.  the type that when you accidentally buy one at home, you know your cutting board is going to smell for days afterwards no matter how much you wash it.
  • anything with curry.  when curry is heated, especially in the workplace, it emits an odour that makes me come very close to gagging.  i don't really care how good it might taste - it could taste like chocolate and peanut butter for all i care - but it stinks.  not for the office.  (or for the condo for that matter - but that's another complaint for another day).
  • shrimp.  this item should NEVER be reheated in the microwave.  when cheap shrimp is heated in the microwave it smells kind of like the feet of someone who has recently run a great distance in very warm weather.  but then again, i'm also a firm believer that it is digestively and morally wrong for anyone to eat seafood.  it's just gross, that's all.  if we leave the bottom feeders in the ocean, the world will be a better place.


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