welfare bum

Successfully missing the point since 1977.

Sunday, April 29, 2007

the great shoe hunt part one

in most cases, many people of the world certainly could care less when a man goes shoe shopping. i'm sure that most of the people (both of you) that read this are probably on the list of people that don't really care when a man goes shoe shopping.

but my shoe shopping ordeal is a bit of a different scenario.

somehow, at some point in my life, my body decided to bless me with very large feet. i mean, they're not Shaq feet, but they're getting close.

my first stop was at Payless Shoe Source. the one thing i like about this place is that they put all of their stock right out in the aisles for you to see. if you don't see it, it ain't there. you don't have to deal with any pushy sales staff that think they know more about your feet than you do. i scrolled past the 20 pairs of size 13 shoes and tried a few on. not one pair fit properly, all too small. a quick glance at the size 14 selection revealed that no matter how desperate i was, i wasn't ready to wear black fake-leather velcro-strap shoes. nobody's that desperate.

second stop was some generic sporty shoe store. looking at the wall at various Adidas i was keeping my fingers crossed that they had something for me in the 13-14 range. sales guy strolls buy, i mention the deal - "how's aboot some Campus shoes in a 13-14?" i says. a few minutes later, he came back with a few different pairs and explained that it wasn't likely i'd be walking out of there with a new pair of shoes as these were the only 13's he had, and the only 14's were in basketball shoes.

off to the next shoe store: Athlete's World. though i would definitely not consider myself an athlete, desperate times call for desperate measures. i found a couple of pairs of shoes i liked and informed the salesperson to bring me a size 13 or 14.

"Do you need me to measure your feet to check the size?" she asks.

i replied that i know i'm at least a 13, but in some brands i take a 14. off she goes into the back room to find what i asked for.

or so i thought.

moments later she returns with 2 boxes of shoes, takes one out and hands it to me. i can see right away that this shoe will not come close to fitting. she informs me that she thought i should try a 12 to see if it would fit. just to embarass her a little bit i tried cramming my foot into it and said "not even remotely close to the right size, can you bring me a 13 or a 14 instead like i asked?"

what would possess you to bring a shoe that's potentially two sizes too small, i'm thinking in my head. are you completely retarded? maybe this is the reason you're selling shoes instead of finding new ways to make automobiles more fuel efficient?

long story short, nothing there either. i may have to resort to buying something online. this morning i found some Nike shoes in my size on their website, so hopefully i can get them sent to canadia.

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  • At Tue May 01, 08:37:00 AM, Anonymous halford said…

    clerks can be so retarded. surely by now you must know your own shoe size. i get this all the time too, for clothes (esp. mat clothes which are always fun to shop for).. because i'm not tall, they offer to bring me small, bless them.... "no," i say "i'm 180 pounds... trust me, i'm not 'small' anymore." yeesh. poor you.

  • At Thu May 03, 11:52:00 PM, Blogger Martini said…

    I'm the same. My shoes, depending on the company, range from a 7 to a 9-1/2. Even within NIKE alone, I can be an 8 to a 9-1/2. Shoes are f*cked.


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