welfare bum

Successfully missing the point since 1977.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

everywhere but the bowl


i wonder sometimes...

i wonder if people have as much trouble going to the toilet at home as they do at work.  i never really found it all that challenging to get all of my ... you know ... pee ... IN the toilet.  getting the stuff that belongs IN the toilet from my body and into the bowl was never really a challenge for me.  do other people have this problem?  or is this something found only in the workplace and in public rest rooms.  is it kind of like a sport... you know, where you have the home field advantage in your own "salle de bain" and have a much higher percentage of getting your shot in the goal - but when you're away from the home field your shooting percentage may not be as high?

i wonder what possesses someone to eat half a donut, and leave the other half in the box.  when someone is so nice as to bring several boxes of donuts to work and someone cuts or tears one in half, leaving the other half there to go stale.  nobody else is going to eat that - it looks like you just bit into it and left it there.  just bring the whole donut back to your desk and throw out what you're not going to eat.  and half of one donut, and half of another donut does NOT constitute having eaten only one donut.  that means you WRECKED TWO.

i wonder what makes someone else (or perhaps that same donut-molesting person) cut into a cream/jelly filled mysterious donut to see what kind of filling it contains within its sweet donut goodness, only to leave it there, wounded and humiliated for the world to see.  it really is an awful site to look into a box of donuts to see two half donuts, and a wounded, bleeding jelly donut all waiting for homes and knowing they will never find one.

2 Comments:

  • At Tue Sep 05, 04:28:00 PM, Anonymous Hänni said…

    Guilty--I have halfed a donut and left the orphaned goodness in the box. It makes me feel like less of a fat ass.

    But then I feel like a fat ass again, when i go *back* into the kitchen and have another donut... which is something I often do.

    I still leave the orphan though--that's damaged goods, even if I'm the one who damaged it.

     
  • At Thu Sep 07, 12:38:00 AM, Blogger pirategirl said…

    I have halved donuts myself lately, only because a whole donut has too much fat for my system to handle and I get all sick blah. However, I happen to have a garbage disposal for a boyfriend, and since donut digestion usually only takes place on weekends during Dork Fests, I pawn the unwanted half off to him. I probably should just not eat the donut though, and let my system forego the discomfort of the far-too-fatty foods altogether.

    Nah.

     

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