welfare bum

Successfully missing the point since 1977.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

crashing foreign cars


i remember, once upon a time when i was learning to drive, that one of the first things that you learn aboot driving is to pay attention not only to the road, but also to the other vehicles around you. it's now been more than a dozen years since i learned this lesson, but it's one that i hold as very important even to this day. somehow other people don't seem to remember this much past the driving test.

today i got my arse on the highway at around 6:30 am. and at that time in the morning there is absolutely NO reason why it should take over an hour and fifteen minutes to drive 35 km.

oh wait, there was a reason. some retard drove into the meridian in the middle of the highway. you see, with today being 30 degrees (85 ish for americans) and sunny, there is no reason to do this. unless perhaps a small piece of your brain was removed just before it happened.

so i ask all canadian drivers, please pay attention. as much as i might complain about not wanting to go to work - that's just complaining. see, the longer i delay getting to work the longer i delay getting home.

and the longer i delay having a cup of coffee in the morning.

and reading this.


Sponsor me for the Terry Fox Run and help me reach my goal of $1000 for cancer research!

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

turtle power!


you know how sometimes you see some dipshit in a car more expensive than yours that cuts you off and you say to yourself "i'd just love to shove that cell phone down his/her throat"?

someone actually did that.

though unfortunately it doesn't appear as though it were traffic related, more like some dipshit guy got pissed at his girlfriend while drunk and shoved it down her throat.

thinking of cell phones, one thing i hate aboot eBay is the ever present message of "Reserve not met" when you're looking at an item upon which you would like to bid. it's SUCH a pain in the ass. for example: here's an auction that i bid on for a bike that i've wanted for quite some time at an AMAZING price, but rather than set a minimum price they just put in the ol' reserve clause. how much was the reserve? nobody will know now, cuz the damn auction is over and nobody met it. oh well - it's their loss i s'pose.

and with the american movie industry still stuck in the middle of comic-book craze, it appears as though a revival of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is due next year. i'm not quite sure what my opinion of that is yet. i seem to remember the early 90s version being good when i was a kid, but when i saw it on TV not too long ago i think the word "horrible" popped into my mind more than once. but then again with the progression of the technology it could be a little more gooder. certainly a wait-till-video one for me.

but what i really think i should do is refill my coffee cup.


Sponsor me for the Terry Fox Run and help me reach my goal of $1000 for cancer research!

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Tuesday, July 25, 2006

there's a fly in the office


shaved my head last night eh (thank you cinderella).

not clean-bald or anything, just real short-like. same length i keep my el-vez sideburns. it's amazing just how little shampoo you require when your hair is less than a half-inch long. just a couple of drops pretty much. and it's SO much easier to maintain. forget being burdened with the idea of combing my hair - not necessary. brush? only need one for my teeth. crank the windows down - the wind ain't messin' up my do today.

i've just discovered that the magical coffee machine at work has a new magical flavour. you see, most of the flavours and types of coffee have a little strength scale at the bottom of the label (this measures how strong the coffee is). most of the flavours they have rank at a 3 or 4 out of five. normally i drink either the columbian which ranks at a 5 or the espresso roast (also a 5). this week the new, wonderful Intense Dark Roast has been introduced to our coffee loving corporation. the strength: 7. they've expanded their rating scale for this one specific type and finally acknowledged the need for a coffee with more caffeine and flavour than the brand my grandmother brews. now, it's no Starbucks Dark Roast but it does the job quite well. even tastes good black where most of the coffees they provide us with do not.

somebody at my office left a city of Toronto cycling map on my desk yesterday, which pretty much rules. i've discovered that with the exception of about 500 meters (about 550 yards for americans), there are bike paths for almost the entire 33 km between my home and my office.

i'm gonna leave the door open to sign-ups for the Untastic Music Swap until friday at this week for anyone who wants to take part in the inagural music trade. you'll still be able to sign up after that point, but next week will be burnination of the first batch of cds. join, or be a wimp with lame, stale music to listen to for the next 30 days.


Sponsor me for the Terry Fox Run and help me reach my goal of $1000 for cancer research!

Monday, July 24, 2006

almost ... too quiet


today's one of those quiet type days at the office. it seems as though nobody in the office has spoken in hours, and i think i was the last person to say anything. many of the normal early-risers are either on vacation this week or coming in late. that at least makes it easier for me to slack.

i've got a new computer thingy for my bike now. it will tell me how fast i'm going, how far i've gone, average speed, time, calories burned, temperature - pretty much everything except how much i owe on my taxes (well, i've got the government to tell me that, so i guess my bike computer doesn't need to tell me that).

also if you're wondering, never trust someone else with getting your coffee request right. when someone is going to pick up several coffees at once and you say "large with milk," be certain it will come back double-double. and if you're anything like me, you'll choke it back just to be polite - even though in theory you could just dump it out and fill your cup with non-sugar-filled office coffee and just pretend you're drinking the one they brought back for you. i can understand the idea of having a sugary coffee if it has been flavoured with something else - chocolate, mint, vanilla, something like that - but putting sugar in a normal coffee flavoured coffee is just plain wrong.

but, as i said, i'll drink it anyways. because i suck.



Sponsor me for the Terry Fox Run and help me reach my goal of $1000 for cancer research!

Thursday, July 20, 2006

a little late on the update, but still here


so this past weekend was the weekend of cycling insanity.  let me bore you with the details...

friday morning after numerous false starts and returning home once for forgotten items, i finally got officially off on my trip at about 7am.  i headed out from the centre of Mississauga and worked my way towards downtown toronto (41 km from end to end for this section).  at the CN tower, i started following directions i yanked from Brian Hedney's cycling website

the next stage was downtown toronto to Oshawa.  a 71 km mostly along the waterfront trail through the majority of toronto's eastern suburbs.  this was, in my opinion, the easiest stretch next to the part that actually got me into downtown toronto.  by the time i arrived in Oshawa, i had cycled about 112 km over the stretch of about 5 hours and felt i was making a pretty good pace.

from Oshawa to Port Hope is a 58 km stretch with very little to no traffic, but also very little to no human interaction.  my recommendation to anyone planning to ride this stretch to bring more water than you expect to use and lots to snack on.  there's nothing out there folks, especially the last 30 or so km.  it actually took me longer to do this distance than the first (nearly twice as far) stretch.  the roads are quiet, but are quite full of hills and very very hot sun.

oh, did i mention that it was 35 degrees + (95 degrees for americans) for the entire trip?

when i (finally) got to Port Hope it was the end of a 12 hour, 170 + KM day.  i won't bore you too much with the details of when and where i got lost, or that there are two slight errors in direction from Hedney and one spot where someone fucked with the signs (don't worry, i fixed it).  i stayed at a lovely little bed and breakfast called the Tall Spruce.  a very comfortable place that will serve you good food, offer great company and a fun, pleasant place to stay.  ask for Tom and tell him mathieu sent you.

day two was originally going to be the remaining 110 + km from Port Hope to Picton, but i decided along the way that this would be better suited to a two day bike ride rather than one because of the heat.  my dad ended up meeting me in brighton and gave me a ride in the car the remaining 50 km.

was that the end of the weekend's cycling you ask?  of course not!  day three involved me riding for about 20 km on my own to keep my muscles from seizing up, then going out with my dad for another 20 km later in the day.  day four - monday - the trip home.  i took the train from belleville to toronto, then rode my bike the remaining 41-45 km from downtown toronto to mid-mississauga.

and here's what i learned out of all of it:
  • the Trek 7.3 FX is a great all-purpose bike.  my gears started to get themselves out of wack after about 300 km into the trip, but that's mostly to do with the fact that the bike had about 2000 on it total and hadn't been serviced yet.  the good fellows at Skiis and Biikes did that for me on my lifetime free service plan that i got with the bike (an extra 10% of the purchase price which has already paid for itself).  i would recommend to anyone considering buying this to put two bottle cages, some bar ends and new grips on it.  total for those should run around an extra $40.
  • a bumblebee to the face is better than a butterfly to the face.  why?  because at cycling speeds, the bee won't have a chance to sting you, just bounce off.  butterflies stick to sweaty faces.
  • sunscreen is to be reapplied every two hours.
  • when you're not riding in the city, bring at least 1.5 litres of water more than you think you'll need.  you will run out, and it will suck.
  • i'd do it all again, but i'd take an extra day and wait till it's cooler
so it was fun.  i'd recommend the trip to anyone who's a semi-avid cyclist and wants to get away for a few days.

and join the Untastic Music swap already.  i'm gonna get something started this week.  y'all's welcome to join.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

sweat of my balls


sorry, that's a bit of a dégoutant title there, but i figure that with the recent finish of the World Cup and the continuing Tour de France that i needed a more gooder title for my bike trip.

tomorrow i start the 250 km trip.  just me, my backpack full of food, and my bike for 2 days.

so this site will be temporarily free from updates for the next 5 days until i get back into the city.  at which point it will be back to the corporate hell as usual.

in the meantime - check out my links over on the side of the page.  start at Studioloo and work your way down to Ninjas are Sweet.

and wish me luck while i'm out there sweating and eating peanut butter sandwiches.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

if only north american courts worked like this


i think north america would be a better place to live if the courts worked out matters like this...

Man is fined a buffalo and pig for bigamy...

i went to the zoo last weekend and took pictures of all the animals with a real film camera.  it wasn't until the next day when i was itching to upload pictures that i realized just how inconvenient it is to use a film camera any more.  so right now, there are 4 or 5 rolls of film at home waiting for me to take them to the store and shell out about $3 a piece to have the negatives prepared so that i can scan them and upload them (mental note, buy new digital camera).  kind of funny how 1 hour photo centres just don't seem to be fast enough any more.

and it's looking like there'll be good weather for me on my bike ride to insanity on friday and saturday.  now all i need to do is find a place to sleep friday night and i'll be set.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

great junk mail


From:  Rachelle Poe <RachellePoe@mail.ru>
Date: 2:24 PM
Subject: B57
there was no wind at all, and suddenly there was a gust and the tumbleweed
end it all.
jump, he says. It was clear how to get to the hillock. And then we'd stay
afraid and sad and sorry, terribly sorry.

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Sometimes bird poo tastes like candy


i've recently noticed that Kim Jong Il (the ill-matic) has started updating his Livejournal again. which is really good, because i've missed his dialogues with George W quite a bit.

i started watching the new version of The Bad News Bears and i think i'm gonna have to say i'm becoming a fan of Billy Bob Thornton. i thought that his role in Bad Santa as a drunken washed-up foul-mouthed loser was absolutely brilliant, and from what i've seen so far his role in Bad News Bears seems to follow the same path. unfortunately, i've only seen the first 20 mins or so of Bad News Bears but i fully intend to watch the rest soon (the part where the fat kid drops a plastic baggy of bacon and starts cursing about how he's on the Atkins diet was pure gold.

there was an open house at our condo today. we don't own the condo, we just rent, so you can see how annoying it is. but keep in mind that this here is the brilliance of having an open house this weekend (today particularly):

  • the world cup is/was today (though i don't know who won and don't particularly care)
  • the Molson Grand Prix also happened to be this weekend (formerly Molson Indy).
  • not to mention several other festival type events.
needless to say, not a lot of people came to check out the open house.

only five more days until my two-day cycling tour. just in case you missed me going on aboot it before, i'm going to be cycling approximately 250km (~155 miles) between friday morning and saturday night. i'm pretty excited, but i think that's only because i haven't done it yet. come saturday afternoon i probably won't be that excited any more. just tired.

Sponsor me for the Terry Fox Run and help me reach my goal of $1000 for cancer research!

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

running for a cause other than myself


as summer time begins, out come the pledge forms and charitable causes. my cause would happen to be the Terry Fox Run for cancer research.

for anyone who may not know the story of Terry Fox, i would strongly recommend reading the short bio that's posted on their site. to give some quick details, he lost his leg to cancer in 1977 and decided that he would run across Canada to raise money and awareness for cancer research - the Marathon of Hope. Unfortunately, Terry did not make it across Canada as the cancer had spread into his lungs, forcing him to end his journey short and he passed away a few months later.

one of the many reasons (including numerous family members who have been affected by this horrible disease), is the fact that unlike many charities, this is one where the organizers are not getting rich off of it. clicking here you'll see that 87% of every dollar donated goes directly into cancer research. fundraising and administration costs are always kept at a minimum.

it has been said that if Terry Fox had suffered the same illness today, that as a result of the money raised for research and the progress made that not only would he have survived, but he would have also been able to keep his leg from being amputated.

You can follow this link here to sponsor me online - no amount is too much or too little. The run is on September 17th of this year - I will be running 10 km at the Mississauga Port Credit location (please don't use that map if you're trying to find it, it's just for a general idea).

Sunday, July 02, 2006

truck and poppy sitting in a tree


you can sort of see the difference in size between a 20 lb cat and a 2.5 lb dog. Posted by Picasa

it's late, and i'm a dork again


tonight i post a bunch of tech dork stuff, so i apologize in advance for anyone who intended to read something cool or see pictures of my cat and dog...

a couple of years ago i bought a Dell Inspiron 5100 laptop. it worked fabulously for quite a while, but has always run kind of hot (i don't know if you'd want to have it sit on your lap, it's a little warm for that). in recent months, it's been having SERIOUS problems overheating and i knew that i'd have to gut it and clean it all out - for anyone who's been considering doing that with their dell inspiron laptop, check out Dan and Sherree's site for great step-by-step instructions with photos. i will emphasize that you READ ALL OF THE COMMENTS before you open yours up and start fucking around. when i took out my fan/heatsink assembly, it pulled the CPU out as well, and when i put it back together the laptop wouldn't reboot. long story short, there's a little screw you have to turn to lock/unlock the CPU. you can take it out while it's locked, but putting it back in won't work so good. and if you bend the pins on the cpu, you're screwed.

i've also been testing out Internet Explorer 7 for the last while. while it seems to have some more gooder security features built into it, i haven't done anything dipshitty enough to warrant those security features actually working. the good news though, is that the look of it is much (much) nicer than IE 6 - more streamlined and easy to use - and TABBED BROWSING!! finally, IE has stepped into the 21st century and allows people to look at multiple web pages without getting lost in a flurry of windows creating the ultimate alt-tab nightmare. finally, ctrl-t has opened up a world of easy to use browsing techniques. oh, and it has RSS support - which is wonderful and about frickin time. i mean seriously, how hard could it possibly be to build in something to read a technology called Really Simple Syndication? well, it's there now. the down side so far? first of all, there's no AdBlock plugin. i've been using it on FireFox for so long that i'd almost forgotten what banner ads looked like. secondly, some websites don't recognize it as the next generation of IE. my bank's website told me i couldn't use this browser to do some shit because it wasn't IE6 or Netscape (though it seems to work in FireFox just fine). all in all, it hasn't crashed or been as buggy as FireFox has been off and on, but the lack of the AdBlock plugin on its own is enough to steer me away from using it as my regular surfer, just a nice alternative.

sorry for the dorkaration there. figured it write about that junk just because i can.

oh, and still lots of time to sign up for the Untastic Music Swap. I'm probably going to wait until next week to actually start the swapping process (when Cuppojoe comes back from holiday), so sign up. keep in mind - it doesn't matter what type of music you listen to, or where you live. just sign up and you'll get something in the mail that's not a bill.

Saturday, July 01, 2006

what else should i post at 5:45 on a saturday morning


but a picture of the new puppy...


-- photo courtesy of cindy at studioloo

and i've debated the idea of creating a separate blog (but linking there from here) specifically about all the movies i watch - since it seems i generally don't go more than a day or two without watching one. would anyone read that? keeping in mind also that it wouldn't be anything that new - nothing you would see in a theatre (unless there's a theatre in town that shows recently out-of-style films). obviously i normally write most of my movie junk, but the unfortunate thing about using blogger is that it doesn't have a function to add categories, which is how i would want to classify my stuff. but then again, i s'pose in theory i should get around to buying my domain name and using something like movable type or something of that nature.

but then i'd have to learn new things and design a new template and shite. but i s'pose again that i've been meaning to do that for a while. i've been meaning to reorganize my links on the side there so that there a little better organized - regular reads, fun junk, stuff like that.

i was wearing my superman shirt earlier and someone asked me if i had just seen the superman movie. "no," i lauged, "i've had this for years."

"good," he says. "it sucks shit man, don't bother with it."

maybe i'll wait for video. that way i can just rent it rather than pay $15 to be disappointed.